The suicide of an Ottawa social justice advocate sparks calls for compassion, change

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CONTENT WARNING: This article mentions topics related to suicide. If you or someone you know needs help, please look for the resources at the bottom of this article. 

An Ottawa social justice activist who lived with mental health and physical problems died by suicide in July as she faced eviction from her Hintonburg apartment.

A certified teacher, Erin O’Neil had a sizable following on X, where she was known as veganlovebunny, and on Instagram, where she was known as madness_unhoused.

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O’Neil lived with autism, depression, anxiety, agoraphobia and various health problems, including lymphedema and infections that resulted from her compulsive skin picking. She relied on Ontario Disability Support Program payments, which she described as “legislated poverty” and “immoral.”

On Facebook, X and Instagram, O’Neil campaigned for more income support, improved social services, a better approach to homelessness and less police involvement in the lives of people with mental illness. She engaged online with politicians and made repeated public appeals for help during her months-long eviction crisis.

“She was a lovely, caring person and a fierce advocate,” said Leah Podobnik, 38, a nursing student who befriended O’Neil online six years ago.

On the afternoon of July 17, Podobnik went to check on her friend after receiving an alarming email in which O’Neil expressed profound despair at the prospect of being homeless and spoke about suicide. O’Neil asked that police not be called so Podobnik went to her apartment for a wellness check. She found O’Neil dead in her bedroom.

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“I was very distraught,” said Podobnik. She believes O’Neil could not face the prospect of being homeless given the state of her mental health.

“Mentally ill people exist: they’re your neighbours,” said Podobnik.

“And we have to find a way to integrate them into society and not evict them. Erin wasn’t a threat to anybody.”

Miranda Gray, a project manager from Orléans, responded to one of O’Neil’s social media appeals in March 2023. Gray reached out to O’Neil, met her for coffee, and offered support and friendship during the past year-and-a-half.

“I did not know her when she was at her best: I only knew her when the mental illness and the physical illness were starting to take over her life entirely,” said Gray. “The good moments were very good, but they weren’t necessarily very frequent.”

Gray tried to help O’Neil as she faced eviction hearings for back rent and for disturbing other tenants. O’Neil regularly yelled and screamed in her apartment during “autistic meltdowns” – the intense emotional response that autistic people can experience when feeling overwhelmed. In response, her neighbours sometimes called the police or complained to their landlord.

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O’Neil went so far as to pass around flyers in an attempt to explain her condition to her neighbours. “I live in Unit 27 with my beautiful cat,” the note said. “I love unicorns, scented markers and watching Good Mythical Morning (a YouTube talk show).”

O’Neil told her neighbours that her support needs “are greater than what is available through the system,” and that she will sometimes have autistic meltdowns because of noise and stress. Those meltdowns, she said, could involve yelling, crying and stomping, among other behaviours.

“I may sound scary and aggressive, but I promise you that I am reacting and behaving much more like a five-year-old child,” she wrote.

O’Neil asked her neighbours not to call the police if they were concerned, but to knock on her door or contact the building superintendent.

Gray believes O’Neil’s welter of medications exacerbated her anger and volatility. O’Neil did not have a family doctor, and she relied on a psychiatrist who called her every few weeks.

“She had very chaotic care,” Gray said. “She was an agoraphobic who didn’t like to leave her apartment so most of her medical care was done either online or in the emergency department.”

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O’Neil lost her eviction case before the Landlord and Tenant Board, and after refusing to leave her apartment, she was handed a court order to vacate by July 23 at 8 a.m.

Gray said the Canadian Mental Health Association and other agencies had a plan in place to rapidly rehouse O’Neil following her eviction, and to care for her cat and her possessions while she was in a temporary shelter.

“I’m not sure she believed any of the plans,” said Gray.

Estranged from her family, O’Neil had been homeless once before in her life, and deeply feared the stress and dislocation of it. In May, as her case moved toward an eviction, O’Neil wrote online: “I wish that my landlord would be more understanding and allow me to stay. I did not mean to harm people when I had a meltdown…Unless a miracle happens, I am going to go through one of the most traumatic things a person can experience – loss of safety, loss of security, loss of autonomy, and often a loss of self.”

News of O’Neil’s suicide spread quickly online where she was a well-known activist. Many sought to draw lessons from her death.

“This is what happens when we spend more on police instead of community services,” said Sam Hersh, a coordinator with the activist group Horizon Ottawa. “It’s definitely the result of a system that didn’t help someone like Erin. Some people said she was difficult and wouldn’t let others help her, but it shouldn’t have reached that point.”

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Matthew Behrens, a writer and social justice advocate, knew O’Neil for about six years. He wrote a letter to her landlord in June, pleading for a resolution to her case that did not involve eviction.

He said it should not have been so hard for O’Neil to get the help she needed: “She was ultimately one more example of our failure as a society to care for the most vulnerable, isolated and marginalized community members, and one more reason why we need a guaranteed liveable income.

“The autopsy may say Erin took her own life, but ultimately she was killed by poverty and insensitivity and a lack of justice.”

Leah Podobnik said the tragedy of her friend’s death lies in the fact she was evicted because of the symptoms of her mental illness.

“There’s no mental health care for people because the wait lists are so long, but it means they can’t live in the community because their neighbours will evict them. So where do they go? There’s no place for them. Where do we go?”

Miranda Gray cleaned out O’Neil’s apartment following her suicide, and found evidence of her life before it was freighted by mental illness. There were pictures of O’Neil as a young woman, backpacking through Peru, travelling to Ecuador and Costa Rica.

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O’Neil studied English and linguistics at the University of Ottawa, and also obtained her Bachelor of Education degree there. She worked briefly as a teacher, and later, as a part-time tutor and child-care worker.

She enjoyed working with children until her declining mental and physical health made that impossible.

Asked what lesson she draws from O’Neil’s suicide, Gray said, “I think the better question is, “How many more people like Erin are out there in this city right now? She’s not the only one living in isolation. Isolation kills people. It probably killed Erin…We need to check in on our neighbours. We need more compassion.”

SUICIDE WARNING SIGNS

Statements that reveal a desire to die

Sudden changes in behaviour: withdrawal, apathy, moodiness

Depression, crying, sleeplessness, hopelessness

Final arrangements such as giving away possessions

WHAT TO DO

Discuss it openly

Show interest and support

Get professional help

Call your local crisis line:

Ottawa Mental Health Crisis Line: 613-722-6914, 1-866-996-0991 if outside Ottawa
Distress Centre of Ottawa and Region: 613-238-3311
Youth Services Bureau 24/7 Crisis Line: 613-260-2360 or 1-877-377-7775 (Eastern Ontario)
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868
Centre d’aide 24/7 (French) : 1-866-277-3553
Tel-aide Outaouais (French) : 613-741-6433

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